Showing posts with label grappling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grappling. Show all posts

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Facing Uncertainty with Patience

It's going to take patience to work through this ACL tear and figure out what I can and should do.

On Friday morning, I got the diagnosis from my doctor--complete ACL tear in my right knee, plus meniscus damage.

My leg isn't painful except when I bend it too far (meniscus) or I step in a way the knee becomes unstable (ACL). It's more my brain that's sore.

My doctor, who had performed ACL reconstruction surgery on my left knee four years ago, said Friday morning he expected that without an ACL, I could run and eventually probably even sprint--which I'd been doing lately for conditioning. The day before, I had gone on an elliptical machine for 22 minutes, and my leg felt fine at the time. It was a little sore an hour later, which a naproxen took care of. My doctor thought that activity was fine, and said the knee is still healing from the initial incident.

However, while running is okay, he thinks that martial arts would put me at risk of further damage to the knee, which is unstable without an ACL, because martial arts involves torquing the knee. A knee brace wouldn't help with torquing.

I don't want to have ACL reconstruction surgery again. I simply can't afford the time away from work and life it would require right now; in any case, the doctor said the knee needs to heal before surgery, so there's no rush.

The reason my head hurts is that, while I don't want to do ACL surgery, I also do want to continue training.

My martial arts instruction got me into shape; it taught me to face up to my fears; to face up to conflict instead of avoiding it; that getting hit just means I'm still in the fight; that I can protect myself. These are all extremely important things to me, body and soul.

I could maintain my conditioning even if I gave up martial arts. But I would be leaving behind a crucial part of my life if I had to give up my school due to my injury.

I have decided to respond with patience.

I'm going to do physical therapy for a month to strengthen the muscles around the knee to compensate for the lack of an ACL. I'm going to discuss with the therapist, or perhaps even a physiatrist, what activities I can safely do.

I'm going to very carefully try to take certain martial arts classes. On Friday evening, I took a "core" class that entails a bag workout and physical and strength conditioning, but no sparring. I was very careful; my knee was a little sore afterward but fine. Oddly, one of the most difficult things in class was some of the stretching at the beginning.

I'm going to have to leave grappling behind, which I'm fine about.

I would like to carefully, carefully try out sparring, including being selective about partners. I will probably be boxing more than kickboxing--a shame since my kicks were pretty good.

I'll see how my leg does. I'll talk about my situation to doctors and others (including a remarkable classmate who does train without an ACL).

I'll give it time.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Twisted Knee

I am thinking this blog should be perhaps renamed "The Middle-Aged Martial Artist's Knee."

On Friday evening, at my sparring class, I twisted my right knee (it's the left knee that got the ACL reconstruction). It was immediately and extremely painful; I dropped to the floor on my back and had to discontinue the class.

I was sparring with a young brown belt, and I used a punch-move-kick combination I'd been working on for a few weeks. At the end of the combination, I pivot and step slightly to my right and throw what, for me anyway, is a relatively high kick--into the opponent's midsection. My younger opponent grabbed my leg (I wasn't kicking very hard) and held it.

So my entire weight was on my right knee, while I was standing, rather like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, stretched out horizontally on top of it. Either through his torque or my falling or both, my right knee torqued/twisted, and down goes Bob.

I've been resting, elevating, icing the knee and taking anti-inflammatory painkillers since then, and the knee feels better. It's still tender, hurts when twisting at all, and hurts when I bend it a significant distance.

I don't think the ACL is torn. My biggest worry is that my restricted range of motion when bending the knee suggests I've got a meniscus tear.

Injuries are always frustrating.

Right now I feel I'm in my best shape in years. I've been supplementing my martial arts training with running two or three days a week on the treadmill at the gym at work (which doesn't cut into time at home). Lately I've been trying to do interval work on the treadmill--sprint, run, sprint, etc.

My weight is down to 185-187 pounds (about 84 kg); to put into context, I'm about 6'2" or 188 cm. While my grappling has been very frustratingly bad, I've been making real strides my sparring, which is my main interest, after being on a plateau for a long time. A new assistant instructor at my school has noted my eagerness to improve and has taken me under his wing with good results.

My hope is that I will be able to return soon to running and to my martial arts classes (though I shudder to think what kneeling for grappling would feel like). I'm hoping with time I'll have less restrictions on my range of motion; already it seems to be improving, though I did try squatting this morning and had to let out a gasp when it hurt to get low.

Right now I'd really prefer not to go the route of surgery.

If anybody has any experience that could shed light on what to expect, I'd love to hear about it.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

R-E-L-A-X

A day off--truly off. Went to Philadelphia with wife and daughter (college break) and saw a terrific production of Swan Lake. I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off as well. Normally between the intense hours at work, the long commute (about 2:30 on a good day), training time, family time and chores, there's little time left.

I'm training three days a week, five hours; run at the office gym ontwo days I'm not training. My weight's steadily below 190 lbs. (I'm 6'2" tall) and my conditioning's good. My sparring and, even more so, grappling skills suffered when I took a couple months easy on contact due to a rib injury. Sparring is coming back; really trying to work on a strong guard, getting angles, moving. Grappling, which doesn't come as natural will take longer. I need more flexibility,especially in my hips.

Most of all, my instructors are telling me to RELAX. In grappling, it's easier to control a board than Jell-o. In sparring, relaxing will allow me to think, move and respond better.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

End of Vacation; Fighting

Alas, tomorrow the work week begins after two weeks off. I'll miss having so much time with my family.

I will return to training after taking one week off (I did train hard the week of Christmas), though I'm going to stay away from sparring and grappling for a bit more to be sure my rib is healed.

Martial arts blogger John Vesia had an interesting post back in November, which I'm only finding now, about boxers who could have been martial artists. It stimulated an interesting discussion about whether boxing is a martial art (many of his readers didn't think so), and whether fighting arts are martial arts. There's a boxing coach, Christy Halbert, author of The Ultimate Boxer, who makes the interesting argument that a boxing match isn't a fight because the boxers aren't angry at each other; they often have tremendous respect for their opponents in the ring.

An interesting perspective; but not the one in the movie The Fighter, which I watched today. Christian Bale in particular puts in a virtuoso performance as Micky Ward's crack-head brother. There's plenty of anger, and more fighting in the two brothers' family than there is in the ring. The crazy family dynamic, and Micky Ward's (Mark Wahlberg) effort to balance his needs with his need for his crazy family is the center of the movie.

Bale's performance was disturbing to me since it was reminiscent of a person I love who has a similar troubled personality though, thank God, not the addiction the character has. A very powerful movie.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Pec Pull

I seem to have a strained pectoral muscle.

It might have gotten hurt Friday dueing kickboxing when I blocked a high kick with my arm. It's been a little sore, but tonight when I was grappling, when people put pressure on my chest it was intensely painful. Then in sparring it was mildly sore and not an issue.

I've never heard of a strained pec, but I suppose any muscle can get pulled.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Commodity In Short Supply

A college friend in touch with me via Facebook and old-fashioned telephone said to me, "It sounds like you don't do much beyond work and 'grappling.'"

I did figure out a while back that, on average, I have two hours a weekday night for everything I need to do--eat dinner, talk with my wife, do chores or bills or whatever needs doing. This two hours is what's left after work, commuting, martial arts training, an hour to get ready in the morning, and 8 hours of sleep.

And sometimes work intrudes into those two hours. At the very least, I'm checking the BlackBerry.

At a certain point, I can't keep this schedule up, and that happened last week. I missed class Monday because I worked late. Wednesday, I was exhausted but took two hours of class. The first hour, standup sparring, was the best sparring I've done in a long time. It showed that putting in two hours a week on sparring, and paying close attention to instructors, is paying off.

The next hour, grappling, saw me getting crushed by everybody, including some of the people I picked apart in sparring. But I did ask my sensei about why I keep getting put into a cradle by the big guys (weighting 30 or 40 pounds more than me), and he showed me that I stay too rigid when they pass my guard--I need to switch to a looser, more flexible defense at that point. Being rigid just lets the big guys manhandle me easier. Interesting; I'll see how that pans out. I'm sure it will take some trial to get it right, but definitely what I'm doing now ain't working.

But Friday, I missed class because of one of the few work-related parties I attend each year. I vowed not to get plastered, and indeed, I was able to hold the wine to a single glass, so I could get up in the morning for the Saturday 8:30 AM yoga class I enjoy with my wife--it's fun to share a form of exercise we both enjoy. (I did also get time in on the rowing machine at work Tuesday and Thursday.)

This coming week, between Thanksgiving and travel plans, I'll get little training in. But maybe a bit of a break will help me enjoy it more when I return.

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends in the martial arts.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A Good Week Of Training

In training, you make a plan, things get in the way, and you come up with another plan.

Monday: An hour of grappling.
Tuesday: Rowing machine at the gym at work.
Wednesday: First setback: Had to settle for one hour of sparring; couldn't stay for the second hour of grappling.
Thursday: Rowing machine again at work.
Friday: Worked late, got to class late; so I just took 3/4 of an hour of "core" class (bag workout, cardio, strength training) and one hour of sparring. Was reminded that when I'm jabbing, it's not enough to keep my right hand at my cheek--I need to move it in front of my face for protection.
Saturday: Two hours of training: First hour, grappling; second hour, sparring, which included among my first two rounds of actual MMA fighting--starting in standup, transitioning to grappling but with punches allowed.
Today: Blessed Rest.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Grappling: Psychological Questions

1. I was paired with a woman in our class Monday night, a lower belt who's doing well at grappling. My sensei said, "Don't crush her." I'm rarely paired with women. I wanted to let her work on her grappling. At first, I got her into an arm triangle forcing her to tap out. But then I let her go for submissions; twice she went for guillotines, and while I didn't give her the submissions, I also didn't try to power out of them or use really rigorous defense; I just tapped out. I thought it would be good for her to get the tapouts.
   Later I wondered, did I do the right thing? My sensei and very skilled black belts like Anthony don't allow themselves to be tapped out. Did I lose standing in the eyes of some classmates by tapping out to a lower-belt female? Or is it in my head?

2. I've come to realize I have a psychological block in grappling: When an opponent has good side control, is putting a lot of weight on me--especially when some of that pressure is on my mouth--I find myself becoming short of breath, worrying that I won't get enough oxygen. In short, I panic. And I tap out, even though I'm not in a choke or lock. It's happening with increasing frequency.
   I'll certainly talk with my sensei about it, but: How do I break that debilitating panic reaction?

Standup sparring is going well, I feel like I'm learning a lot by going to two classes a week. There's always lots to learn, but I no longer feel like I'm stuck on a plateau, not making any advances.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Maybe it was the big cookie I ate at lunch;

maybe it was the class I missed last week; maybe it's sunspots; but whatever the reason, I just had the worst night I've had in grappling in months. Ugh.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

End of Summer

A lot of changes are in the works here. Our daughter moves into her dorm in New York City on Sunday, and it's going to be really tough seeing her go, though she's nearby. Our son is starting to take a full course load farther out on Long Island, along with work and his own apartment, all of which is great.

To help pay for all this college, we're trying to live a bit more simply. For one thing, we've gone down to one car, which I kind of like; my wife gives me a ride in the morning to the train, and it's nice to see her even if she's sleepy.

New beginnings for my kids, and the fall season, call for new beginnings for me. In martial arts, my goals are to improve my close-range sparring, boost my conditioning, flow better in grappling, and shave off a few more pounds to get down to a fighting weight below 190. I'm not specifically aiming for my second-degree black belt--that may require more effort than I can put into training right now, given the growing commitment my work is requiring.

Cheers to everybody, and enjoy the end of summer.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Best Laid Plans

Was planning on going to grappling class last night. Long Island Railroad exploded instead. Made lemon out of lemonade--took the subway to my old neighborhood in Queens, my wife and daughter met me at a restaurant there. But got home way too late to make it to class.

I figure if I shoot for exercise six days a week, I'll get there four or five days.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

New Black Belt in the School

It's always interesting when a new black belt arrives from outside the school. On Monday, I met this new sempai, and he was a credit to his belt--he was polite, respectful and amazingly skilled. I would guess he's in his late 20s; he's training with my sensei for competitive fights, and he's going to be in our school for a while.

He could tie me in knots in grappling, but he was deliberate and safe in his movements--he stopped at one point when I grunted to make sure I was okay. (I make a lot of noise when I grapple, unfortunately!)

I'm sure I'll learn a lot grappling with him, I just have to retain it in my head. One of the most challenging things about grappling is retaining/calling up when necessary what I've learned--it's a very technically complex art. There's also the challenge of embedding what I've learned into muscle memory.

Standup (kickboxing) also has a muscle-memory element. But much more so than in grappling, the biggest challenge for me is getting past sensory and emotional overload (excitement, fear) in order to do what I have learned to do.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Stepping It Up

It's been very hard to be consistent lately with MMA classes and other workouts. Last week was my 28th anniversary and my son's birthday; I've worked both last weekend (made it to Saturday class, guiltily) and this weekend (missed Saturday class, guiltily).

I will boost my classes to four a week; Monday, Wednesday and, on Friday, two classes in a row, to try and build conditioning more. I'm going to schedule an hour out of work to be at the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Sunday, I'll try to find something to do at home. I know this will be very tiring initially, and work and life will interfere. But you set goals, and you shoot for them.

My main focuses are 1) health, and 2) getting better at MMA.

Point 2 is simple: In striking, I need to move more, especially laterally, and relax a bit. In grappling, I will be taking two classes a week, which should help me really learn more techniques, at the muscle memory level; there too, I need to relax more, my sensei says. Another focus, picked up from a friend at work who used to do Gracie jiujitsu, is to either give the other person no space, or to take any space he gives me.

My Saturdays will be free. I'm hoping this means I can spend more time doing things with family. My Saturdays have been very hectic.

It would be nice to have a Saturday where I don't have to work. Pray for a slow news week.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Foreshadowing?

A classmate once observed the tradeoff for not having the ills of a sedentary life--aching back, diabetes-related ills, heart troubles--is having lots of little acute pains.

Today I still have a sore thumb which I jammed a couple of weeks ago, but I also have aches from three days in a row of class, including my first grappling class since August.

And, weirdly, I'm sore from falling out of the shower for the first time in my life. Yesterday, after grappling class, I was taking a shower at home, and I lost my balance; my feet slipped out from under me, and down I want, pulling the shower curtain down with me.

Fortunately I didn't do any serious damage--I didn't hit my head, and my knees bent normally, so no knee injuries. I remember putting a chair in the shower after my ACL surgery to avoid falling and tearing my new ACL.

But I definitely got bruised up. I don't know why I fell, but I quickly thought of how my father, at 89, fell a few months ago and ended up in the hospital. It felt like a foreshadowing of what's to come when I get old, and I didn't like that feeling.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Watching Dad Grow Frail

I've spent much of the past two weeks in Virginia, helping my family after my 89-year-old father fell and broke his arm. I took four days off work the first week, then returned, with my wife and daughter, for a few days around Thanksgiving.

One of the defining experiences for many of us in middle age is seeing our parents grow old, frail and ill. It rattles me to the core because my Dad was such a strong provider and protector of the family while I was growing up.

Both my parents are suffering from early dementia or Alzheimer's, which is evident in the disappearance of their short-term memory, and their inability to really follow through on any task out of the ordinary. But they still love seeing their children and grandchildren, know who we are, and reminisce about the past.

Dad's fall, and the cascading problems that have ensued from that, have finally allowed us to force on my parents 24-hour home health aides, who are being accepted by my folks. It's a great relief for my brother and me; my brother lives near my parents and has devoted a huge amount of time to helping out, which has me concerned for his own health and well being. Unless my Dad shows lots of improvement, which often doesn't happen at his age, we will need to find a facility that can care for them both--the 24-hour help at their house is great but in the long run unaffordable.

On the way back home, we swung by one of the art colleges my daughter is considering attending, Maryland Institute College of Art, in Baltimore. My son spent Thanksgiving on the west coast, visiting with his biological family (both my kids were adopted). I'm glad my son is in touch with his biological family, I think it is good for him; we also can see how some of the volatility that bedevils our son is also very inherent in his birth siblings as well. (My daughter, born in Korea, doesn't know who her birth family is.)

Needless to say, I haven't had much time to train or work out. Seeing my Dad's growing frailty really reinforced for me the importance of staying in shape, to keep the quality of life as high as possible for as long as possible.

My three month stint at my new school is about over. I'm now seriously considering going back to my original martial arts school, where I still have a lot of classes paid for. I've learned a lot at the new school, particularly in the weekly private lessons. And the sparring is very much in control, which as a resident of the late middle ages I appreciate. It's a lot less expensive than my old school as well.

However, it's mostly me and a bunch of teenagers in class; they're nice, but not my friends--I have many friends at my old school. The workout isn't as intense as I used to get at my old school. And I can't wear the black belt I earned at the old school at the new one.

I'm planning (and we know not all plans work out) to continue getting up early and hitting the inexpensive and convenient gym at my office before the day starts, four days a week, for cardio and weight lifting. Then I'll attend martial arts classes two or three times a week. If I feel comfortable sparring at my old school, I'll do that; if not, I may continue to spar at the new school, and go to the old school for the exercise and camaraderie (and maybe for grappling).

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Nothing More Tiring

I had two hours of class today. In the second hour, among many other things, I went three rounds boxing with my sensei. It's like trying to block lightning. He has full control of his punches, but you feel them.

My wife said I looked miserable when I got home. I told her I was very, very tired.

"There is nothing more tiring," I told my wife, "than getting hit."

Eyebrow raised, she said, "I have no idea why you enjoy this."

I said, "I'm not sure I would if every time were like this."

I did learn a lot, however. In grappling, I was reminded of the D'Arce choke, which I'd forgotten how to do even though I'd mentioned it before; I also learned a way of flipping an opponent who has me in side control by grapevining his leg.

And in the black belt class, we worked on two ways of setting up the uppercut; 1) Draw the opponent's right hand to the side of his head by throwing two open hand hooks, then go into position to throw a very hard hook--but throw a front-hand uppercut to the head, followed by a cross; or 2) slip the jab, take a stop towards the opponent, then throw the backhand uppercut followed by the front hook (then move away).

Finally, sensei told me I was dropping my hand BEFORE throwing my jab, which was allowing him to come over the top with his cross. And I need to keep my hands up even when a speedster like him is out of reach, because he can move in and hit my head so quickly.

Very tiring.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Breath

My man Steve, a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner, has a post about breathing while sparring, and how important it is to make yourself breathe.

I recently had a couple of interesting experiences with breathing while sparring.

1. Gumba Frank, a fellow black belt and classmate, is always a challenge in standup sparring. Frank is not only tremendously strong, he also has amazing hand speed (even more amazing that he's around 52 years old) and he is a very skilled counterpuncher. He also, surprisingly for someone in an orthodox stance, relies almost exclusively on his left, front, hand. My best strategy against him is to use my reach and to circle to my left, his right--the opposite of what I would normally do against a right hander. I want to steer clear of his left hook.

I realized a few weeks ago while sparring with him that I felt so anxious (when he hits, it hurts) that my breathing was speeding up and becoming shallow, which was tiring me out. And getting tired is a problem because I do best with him when I constantly move. I had to consciously slow down my rate of breathing and deepen the individual breaths. It helped. I was surprised that I hadn't been aware of that pattern before.

2. Last Saturday, I was grappling and got another 50-something black belt, Warren, in an arm triangle. That's a type of choke where I'm using one of his arms against his neck to help finish him off. Warren is a bit of a street fighter, and he came up with a creative solution: He took his free hand, pinched my nose shut, and covered my mouth with his hand, cutting off MY breath. Nobody had ever done this to me before. Eventually, I had to loosen my grip on him to pry his hand from my mouth, but that allowed him to get free from the arm triangle. People did point out to him later that it was an illegal move, but I was laughing about it, I certainly didn't expect it!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

How Nervous Was I?

A fellow student asked me how nervous I was when I tested and finally got my black belt in May. A little background is necessary, because this was my third test.

The first time I tested, I was so nervous that I went to the ATM the day before, and left the cash in the ATM machine. Fortunately the ATM sucked the money back before somebody else came along. However, a Joshu at our school heard about it, and at the test was telling me how he had a free trip to the test because he "went up to the ATM, and some idiot had left $100 in it." He was joking with me because he was trying to get me relaxed. I went to that test with my friend the Hulk, and we both had the classic signs of nervousness--cotton mouth, multiple trips to the bthroom, etc. I passed self defense moves at the test, but didn't get all the way to the kickboxing and grappling.

The next time I tested, in November 2007, I was definitely nervous, but doing much better than the previous time. Although, I think the day before, I went to the ATM, took the money...and left my card in the machine. It also got sucked back in, so nobody drained my bank account.

It was at that November test that my ACL got destroyed, and I had to quit with about three minutes left. The afore-metioned Joshu, who's a real card, was telling me he wasn't surprised I didn't pass, because my wife "told him" that I "never lasted four minutes between the legs with anybody." This time he was trying to cheer me up.

I was enjoying the test up until I got hurt--in particular, I enjoyed the stand-up kickboxing part of the test. I think because I had been to one tournament previously, I was less nervous about it.

When I went for my third time last month, I looked, on the surface, fairly calm, I think. But I was nervous underneath. The day before the test, I showed up to meet someone an hour earlier than I was supposed to and left in confusion.

On the day of the test, my knee was a bit sore, and I didn't really know whether it was because I hurt it a bit training for the test, or whether my knee was "nervous" about returning to the scene of its injury. The hardest part of the test was waiting while the other candidates went through all the parts I had previously passed. I definitely had "fight or flight" syndrome. Once I got on the mat for grappling, it was a relief--and at that point, I started having fun.

I guess the pattern is, the anticipation is terrifying, but the test itself is often fun.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

An Old Familiar Feeling

There's good news and bad news today.

The good news is that I feel my conditioning and grappling are getting better and better, even after my successful completion of the black belt test two weeks ago.

The bad news is that my right knee--the "good" one--is giving me pain and stiffness with normal bending. It's definitely not an ACL tear, thank goodness, because the knee is strong and stable.

But when I tore my ACL two and a half years ago, I also tore my meniscus, which gave me pain and stiffness when bending my leg--similar to what I'm feeling now. In recovery terms, it was a sideshow to the ACL.

I'm probably going to call the doctor who did my ACL surgery to have him look at it.

I don't recall a moment when I hurt my knee recently. I figure it was in the run-up to the test or the test itself. I recall telling my friend Larry that my knee was hurting a bit the week after the test, and he said, yeah, sometimes you get hurt at the test but don't realize it because of all the adrenaline.

The running, specifically sprinting, I've been doing has been good for my cardio. On Saturday, I sprinted early in the morning, then took two hours of classes beginning at noon. My quads were sore, and my right knee; but I held up fine through the classes. In grappling I twice got the back of Warren, one of the sampais my age, who was exhausted, and I got him to tap out once. Usually Warren gives me a really hard time in grappling.

But today, Sunday, I changed my plans and I'm not sprinting. I'm worried that it will make my knee worse.

There does seem to be a cycle, particularly in middle age, where you get near the peak of your condition, and some injury forces you to start over again.

We'll see what happens this time. At the least, a meniscus tear (if that's what it is) isn't nearly as big a problem as an ACL.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sempai BobSpar


I'm sore, I'm tired, but I'm elated--I got my black belt today.

It's been almost two and a half years since I last tested. That was when my ACL got snapped in two.

I felt like my mind was somewhat calm (if worried) coming into the test, but my body was very anxious. And while my mind was worried about things like failing in front of people, my body was anxious about my knee. My left knee was hurting walking down the steps of the terraced parking lot to the test site, at a college in suburban New Jersey.

I was in what we called the "geriatric ring," a station for people 35 and older. I'm not entirely certain, but I believe that, at 52, I was the oldest candidate in the group. Most of the candidates seemed to be in their 40s, and maybe a few were late 30s.

I flew through the pushups; the situps were tougher because I was told I needed to get down lower, touching more of my lower back to the mat.

Then I waited, and waited, and waited. All the other candidates had to go through all the parts of the test I passed before. While waiting, I struggled with the "fight or flight" reaction--I had to keep telling myself, you've done this before, you've been grappling hard, you've learned a lot, go in there when it's time and go for it.

The following is very technical about grappling, sorry! If you wish to skip the detail, please go to the final two paragraphs.

When it was time for grappling--before which I stretched and did pushups to get my body warm--I was initially paired with the person I thought was the weakest opponent. I told myself, don't assume he's not tough. But I did feel that if I didn't do well against him, it would be troubling to me and the judges.

All the work in recent weeks I've put into grappling paid off. There were so many things I did that I only learned while in my training for this test in the past two or three months. I went in, as Steve suggested, with a plan for what to do in each position, and I executed it. With this first opponent, I ended up getting him to tap out twice--once in a chicken wing from when I had him in my guard, and once with an L-lock when I had swept him and mounted him. (Addendum: In retrospect, I think I tapped him out a third time in a guillotine.)

My confidence soared--I was off to a good start.

Then came the second four-minute match. This opponent, another brown belt, was much tougher--very strong in the standup part. I got a bruise below my left eye that I didn't notice until someone pointed out afterward, but I'm sure it was from his head.

But I did pull him into my guard, and got him in a chicken wing. He fought it pretty well, but finally had to tap out. I felt terrific.

We stood up, went at it again. He started to grab my leg, and I pulled him into the guard again. I think what happened (amazing how much you can forget) is that I swept him, got him in a mount, and when he turned to his side to protect his arm, I went for an arm bar.

Unfortunately, I gave him enough room to slip out of it and go for an arm bar against me, which he got. I tapped quickly once he got it in tight--I had no interest in dropping out because my arm was broken.

Once more, standing up, he was more wary about me, but I pulled him into the guard again, and got him in a kimura lock again (which can lead to the chicken wing). He fought it well, and we ran out of time.

I was elated to hear that I (and everyone who had made it that far) got our belts. There were a few people from my local school there who congratulated me. I called my wife and daughter (my wife was too traumatized from seeing me hurt the last time to attend this one, though she provided ample moral support).

I was far from perfect. Sempai Chance, who had given me a lesson Friday, said I was trying to sit straight up from my guard to do the sweep, rather than turning to my side first. I lost putting my second opponent into an arm bar because I gave him room to get out.

I have so much left to learn. And that's one definition of a black belt--a serious martial arts student.

But I attacked and defended well enough to show that I knew what I was doing well enough to pass.


I'm grateful to all the people (including readers of this blog) who encouraged me on the way. I am grateful to my sensei; at the end of the day, I asked him to honor me by putting my belt on for the first time, which he was happy to do.

It's been a long road since that awful moment when my ACL ripped on the grappling mat. I wouldn't say that the black belt or ACL recovery are the most difficult things I've ever done, tough as they are. Trying to be a good father and husband in this imperfect and disruptive world is harder and far more important. But it's encouraging and thrilling to be able to say that, just days short of my 53rd birthday, having recovered from ACL surgery two years earlier, I got my black belt.