How Much Wood Would A Nunchuck Chuck

Tough week; I strive for 8 hours of sleep even on work nights, and got only 6 hour Monday night (after Martin Luther King Day) due to a combination of crises involving work and my elderly parents.

I did have a good sparring class Wednesday--I forgot my helmet, which required consideration by my partners, and in any case they were considerate sparring partners. One was my buddy Larry, the other was a joshu who is incredibly skilled and who was giving me tips as we drilled and then sparred.

On Saturday, I varied my schedule by attending a class where my sensei went back to our MMA school's karate roots; he was teaching nunchucks to the black belts (we don't do forms/kata any longer to get a black belt). I never used them before. I didn't think I would be able to get the hang of them at first, but I did eventually, even if I was very slow. We worked on one of the forms the school used to teach.

Interestingly, my knee with the repaired ACL was more sore after doing those forms than it usually is after sparring.

I told sensei that my goal was not to become the next popular YouTube video of a nunchuck accident, and he laughed.

Today I've got a slight fever and I'm going to just rest. Busy week of work ahead. My wife's friend in Italy said everybody she talked to in America is ill with something, and I think she's right. What a winter.

ACL Peace

Merry Christmas! You know your children are growing up when you wake up on Christmas morning before they do.

I started this blog when I was recovering from ACL surgery. I've been very lucky so far (knock on wood) because my ACL has been okay.

Last night, at my wife's family's huge, fun Christmas Eve gathering--we rent a hall, there are so many people--I saw my teenage niece Gina, who one week ago had her second ACL replacement surgery. This time, she got a piece of her quad muscle removed and used as the ACL replacement--I hadn't heard of that procedure much, she said her doctor avows it's stronger than even a patellar tendon ACL. Gina's a real athlete--I think her first ACL surgery was following a basketball injury, and this one was in conditioning camp preparing for lacrosse. Poor baby.

Meanwhile, Black Belt Mama has been having recurring problems with her knee where she had ACL surgery, and they've been interfering with her karate training, and she feels very frustrated.

Unknown at this point for me are the statuses of Hack Shaft, who's had two ACL tears, and Black Belt Blues.

Here are Christmas wishes for healthy ACLs all over the martial blogosphere, and beyond.

And, yeah, peace on earth would be nice, too.

Reflections on a Journey of Many Years

The blogger's dilemma is that the busier life is, the more things you have to say, and the less time to say them.

I've been busy lately.

Last night, I threw a party at my house to celebrate getting my black belt back in May. When I throw one of my infrequent parties, I enjoy inviting people from very different aspects of my life and watching them interact; this party included people who have been at my martial arts school for a long time like me, a few old friends from outside martial arts, neighborhood friends, friends from church, and family. I got my wife's cousin to cater the event; in keeping with the martial arts theme, there was an Asian flavor to the food.

It was fun, and it was nice to celebrate once again all the blood, sweat and tears that went into getting the belt.

Lately I've been reflecting on my own journey in the martial arts.

I've been thinking about modern v traditional martial arts--I attend a school that 8 1/2 years ago, when I joined, was called a karate school, and now is mixed martial arts. A lot of the bloggers I follow practice traditional martial arts. I envy the cultural exploration they get to do.

But as my wife recently reminded me, my own journey in the martial arts has also been an extraordinary path. I've discovered things about myself: physical strength; joy of movement; mental discipline; an inner warrior I had no idea existed. On many occasions, including recovering from ACL surgery, I've had to face my fears to get to a new goal.

Re-entering martial arts in 2001 also was an effort to gain control over one sliver of my life at a time when life felt wildly, disturbingly out of control, as a person I love increasingly fell into the grip of mental illness.

On the evite.com invitation I sent out for my party, I put a photo of Mr. Miyagi, the instructor in The Karate Kid played by the late actor Pat Morita. Dave Berry once hilariously said that karate is a martial art where, after years and years of effort and discipline, and using only their hands and feet, people have made some of the worst movies in history. But I'm not embarrassed to say that it was The Karate Kid that got me to first go to a Tae Kwan Do school in Queens for six months. And if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have returned to martial arts in 2001.

What I was searching for (beyond better health) was a Mr. Miyagi, a strict but patient instructor who would affirm my worth while teaching me new things.

Occasionally, like this morning, I glimpse that the real Mr. Miyagi is within.

How Nervous Was I?

A fellow student asked me how nervous I was when I tested and finally got my black belt in May. A little background is necessary, because this was my third test.

The first time I tested, I was so nervous that I went to the ATM the day before, and left the cash in the ATM machine. Fortunately the ATM sucked the money back before somebody else came along. However, a Joshu at our school heard about it, and at the test was telling me how he had a free trip to the test because he "went up to the ATM, and some idiot had left $100 in it." He was joking with me because he was trying to get me relaxed. I went to that test with my friend the Hulk, and we both had the classic signs of nervousness--cotton mouth, multiple trips to the bthroom, etc. I passed self defense moves at the test, but didn't get all the way to the kickboxing and grappling.

The next time I tested, in November 2007, I was definitely nervous, but doing much better than the previous time. Although, I think the day before, I went to the ATM, took the money...and left my card in the machine. It also got sucked back in, so nobody drained my bank account.

It was at that November test that my ACL got destroyed, and I had to quit with about three minutes left. The afore-metioned Joshu, who's a real card, was telling me he wasn't surprised I didn't pass, because my wife "told him" that I "never lasted four minutes between the legs with anybody." This time he was trying to cheer me up.

I was enjoying the test up until I got hurt--in particular, I enjoyed the stand-up kickboxing part of the test. I think because I had been to one tournament previously, I was less nervous about it.

When I went for my third time last month, I looked, on the surface, fairly calm, I think. But I was nervous underneath. The day before the test, I showed up to meet someone an hour earlier than I was supposed to and left in confusion.

On the day of the test, my knee was a bit sore, and I didn't really know whether it was because I hurt it a bit training for the test, or whether my knee was "nervous" about returning to the scene of its injury. The hardest part of the test was waiting while the other candidates went through all the parts I had previously passed. I definitely had "fight or flight" syndrome. Once I got on the mat for grappling, it was a relief--and at that point, I started having fun.

I guess the pattern is, the anticipation is terrifying, but the test itself is often fun.

Renewed ACL Woes In The Blogosphere

Life has been very busy lately, and I haven't been keeping up with blogs (mine or others') lately. As I tell people, quoting a favorite old boss of mine, I've been busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest.

Now, however, I'm on vacation. I kick back, read a few posts--and find that everybody is falling apart.

Hack Shaft, an energetic tae kwan do student, in November (on election night) got a second ACL injury. He's already gone through his operation. He's still got a great attitude, but I can't believe he's going through ACL reconstruction again.

And witty blogger Black Belt Mama is going to have, in effect, her ACL repair repaired in January. She's got a protruding sheath from the prior ACL surgery that needs fixing.

I feel for both of them--I was groaning out loud as I was getting caught up on their blogs. And it's a reminder that, while athletics and martial arts will help preserve our minds, bodies and spirits in the long run, we are running risks in the short run.

Black Belt Blues (apologies to the similarly named blog)

(You should know that Black Belt Blues is the name of a blog by a recoveree from ACL reconstruction, and an excellent place to visit.)

It's been a busy fall so far for me. Last weekend was the first time in six weeks that I haven't worked on a Sunday--but I did go to Virginia to take care of my parents. A tree had fallen on their porch--and on my Dad's beloved 20-year-old pickup truck. The pickup was crushed, the porch was heavily damaged.

So my Dad, at 88, went out to try and clean things up. Instead, he fell, impaled his arm on some wreckage, and got a nasty, nasty puncture wound.

So I went down to spend the weekend. He needed more stitches, and he needed reminders to take his antibiotics every day.

Between work, family and the trip to Virginia, I am pretty sure that last week was the first time since recovering from my ACL injury that I didn't attend a single martial arts class (apart from vacation weeks spent out of town). That's how busy it's been.

When I got back, I went to class on Tuesday--and found that two of my contemporaries, Warren and Larry, both 51, had gone to the black belt test on Sunday and had gotten their black belts. I was thrilled for them, and they were so happy.

I would be less than totally honest if I didn't also say I was feeling a bit blue that I wasn't there to get my belt with them. They both said I should have been there to get the belt also. Between work, hurting my shoulder and just not having time to train, I knew I wouldn't be able to test this past Sunday. With everything still going on, I do wonder when I'll be able to test.

Tonight, I go to sparring class. We'll see how much of a hindrance my lack of consistent conditioning poses.

Lots of News

There's lots of news here, starting with martial arts news:

1. I told my sensei I don't want to test for the black belt this fall. Work has been so demanding of my time and energy--and I need time with family as well--that this just isn't the time to test. Simply putting in the time required by my school to test--48 hours of classes in the six weeks before the test--is more than I can do now.
I had been feeling like attending class was more a chore than a joy, because it was something I had to do to prepare for a test that seemed too demanding on my life now. I didn't like that feeling.
My sensei was fine with my decision, which I should have expected but I was relieved to see.

2. Related to my decision not to test, I've returned to kickboxing/sparring classes. I had not taken them because I already passed that part of the test, and friends counseled me not to put my ACL-repaired knee at risk in those classes since it wasn't necessary for the test. However, the standup part of martial arts is the part I enjoy the most--I thrill to the primal chess game of it. (Apologies to Steve and others, I do realize the ground game is also a chess match--maybe even more so--but I like standup better.)
My return to kickboxing class, on Wednesday, had me a little nervous about "ring rust" and my knee, and it was quite challenging, but it was so much fun. I'm happy to be back.

3. On the home front, we're meeting my son's birthmother on Sunday. It's a very emotional and big thing. My son has been home for the past couple of months, after spending quite a long time living elsewhere, and I'm happy to say it's been very good to have him here.

4. Due to a lack of time and a decision to commit funds elsewhere, I am going to drop my gym membership (not my martial arts school, but a gym I used for cross training). The biggest downside is that I no longer will be able to lead the Jersey City Fight Club. However, our little group is moribund anyway at the moment since I haven't had the spare time at work to go down to the gym. We're moving to a new office in Manhattan early next year, with an inexpensive on-site gym, and I'm hoping we can revive the club then.

5. I broke down and began renting a DVR from our TV company, and my first show to tape was Contender Asia, a reality show about 16 Muay Thai fighters, filmed in Singapore. The artistry of the show isn't as high as I thought it was for the U.S. boxing-focused Contender show, especially the second season. But watching Naruepol, a Thai-born fighter, in the ring was a revelation. His kicks were amazing, fast and powerful. I didn't see him feint much with his punches, but lots with his kicks.

That's enough news for now.

Don't Compare--Chapter 17

I had a talk with my sensei Monday night because I was feeling discouraged about my grappling--and I need my grappling to get my black belt.

Besides feeling tired from my new job, I just don't feel I'm doing well compared to some others in my class.

He said:

1) Don't compare myself with others, who by definition are in different situations. (I'm re-re-relearning this lesson.)

2) He can see what I've overcome my fears about my knee getting reinjured--I had to do that before I could move on.

3) The new job is also draining me mentally, which affects what you can learn in grappling and how fast you can react.

He said to focus not on everything, but on two or three submissions from the guard and from side control, and to take a private lesson or two, which I'm going to do.

Teens and ACL Surgery--A Risk

Brooke, a 14-year-old reader who hurt her ACL, has made comments on an earlier post of mine about her fear of ACL surgery.

My concern is that she may be too young for traditional adult ACL surgery. A New York Times article earlier this year talked about the risks. Two passages:

The standard and effective treatment for such an injury in adults is surgery. But the operation poses a greater risk for children and adolescents who have not finished growing because it involves drilling into a growth plate, an area of still-developing tissue at the end of the leg bone.

And here's the scary part for growing teens:

But the standard A.C.L. repair operation, with its drilling into the growth plate, may cause permanent damage to the still-growing bones of young children. After drilling, surgeons replace the torn ligament with a tendon taken from elsewhere in the body, like the hamstring, or from a cadaver. But if the drilling damages a child’s growth plate, the leg bone will not develop normally.

That happened recently to a 14-year-old boy who was referred to Dr. Freddie H. Fu, an orthopedic surgeon at the University of Pittsburgh. A year after the operation, Dr. Fu said, the leg with the repair was bowed 20 degrees on one side and was shorter than the other leg.

“I had to go in on the other side and stop the growth,” Dr. Fu said. “Now, about six months later, the leg is still crooked. There still is a two-inch difference in length which I have to fix.” The boy, he said, “will be a little bit shorter” as a result, although both legs will be the same length.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm encouraging Brooke to show the article to her parents.

For us adult ACL recoverees, we can nod our heads along with this passage from the article (boldface added by me):

Every orthopedist is familiar with A.C.L. tears, but in adults. It is “the most common and most dreaded injury in professional sports,” Dr. Kocher said. The well-established operation to repair it often results in a full return to function. And doctors often recommend that adults have the operation because without the ligament the knee is not stable.

On Wednesday, I'm 52

Tomorrow (as I write this) I will turn 52. I'm still alive, I'm still kicking. I will return for that black belt in my 52nd year.

I was so stressed out today, from work and from dealing with a stressful person outside work, I thought I was going to fall over. But I survived.

I have to travel on my birthday for work, ugh. But my wife and daughter will join me a day later and we will take a mini vacation in Florida. With luck, the new alarm system will keep our home intruder-free while we're away. On Monday, I'll be back in grappling class.

I thought life would get easier as I got older. It hasn't. But I've got my family, I've got my health, I've got two titanium screws in my leg bones that I didn't have before, plus an ACL that is probably stronger than I give it credit for.

Osu, all you fellow martial artists.

Hang in there, all you fellow ACL folks.

Yogi Berra On ACL Recovery

Black Belt Mama, another ACL recoveree, is scheduled to head back to class in two weeks, if she doesn't die first from poison ivy. As with all ACL-reconstructed martial artists, she's nervous about getting back onto the mat.

Michele, who teaches Okinawa Kenpo Karate and Kobudo, has had her own worries about her reconstructed ACL.

I personally think my knee, overall, will never be the same; however, I also think my ACL itself is strong and fairly risk free. But there is doubt in my mind as well.

I've decided that, as with so many things, Yogi Berra (would have) said it best: Getting back on the mat after ACL surgery "is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

Swamped But Training

Work and home have remained busy, but I did get to three classes this past week (no classes over the Memorial Day weekend). This morning, I did a self-directed physical therapy session for my knee--push-ups (one hand on a ball for some extra work), sit-ups, then lunges with a resistance band, knee leg lifts, etc.

In class, I'm trying to concentrate on grappling, and core class for cardio and strength. While I really love sparring, I don't need that for my black belt, and it's where I re-injured my knee, so I'm taking my time about going back to it.

I put my gym membership on hold. I joined so I could get some cross training during working hours (allowing me more time at home with family), but with my new job I just can't get to the gym.

Hack Shaft is just about to return to his American Karate class after ACL surgery and rehab--we're all looking forward to his report of his return.

I spent a lot of time painting--nothing pink, only blue.

Later this week we're having a home alarm system involved. One of the things preoccupying me after our trip to Philadelphia is we did have a break-in by a confused and troubled person, so we're installing an alarm.

Happy Memorial Day, everybody.

Will Our Knees Be The Same?

Michele of Just A Thought has a thought-provoking post as she's approaching one year after ACL reconstruction surgery.

For me, her bittersweet post--her knee may never be the same, but her karate has become "a search for deeper understanding"--made me think (as I commented) on the thankfulness and regret that are my experience as I grow older and doors close.

Perspective

My wife, daughter and I will be taking a mini vacation starting today, traveling to Philadelphia to see Ansel Adams photos (Clearing Winter Storm, Yosemite National Park above) and Frida Kahlo paintings at the Philadelphia Museum, run up the steps of the museum and hold up our hands like Rocky, and do other things tourists do in Philadelphia. So no martial arts class this weekend.

I went to two "core" classes in the past two days. One day I parked in front of a nearby Lucille Roberts gym. As I was getting out of the car, a young woman came out of the gym on crutches. I wondered, of course, if she was yet another ACL recoveree.

She was missing a lot more than her ACL, it turns out. She was missing her entire right leg.

I felt so impressed that she was going to the gym--she looked like she was in good shape--and seeing her helped me put into perspective an ACL operation a year ago and a bone bruise a few weeks back.

I Hurt My Knee

My knee hyperextended tonight in sparring.

We were only sparring to the body, no head punches, which leads to a very close, high-intensity battle. I was sparring with a tall, fellow brown belt in his mid to late teens. We were both clinching for knee kicks, if I recall; he stepped back, and I put my weight on my recovering left leg and hyperextended it. I went down right away. I got hurt even though I was wearing my brace, which primarily prevents the knee from going sideways.

My ACL is fine, but I pulled something behind and on the side of my knee. If I try to straighten out my knee, it hurts. I am walking very carefully and will probably work from home tomorrow. I've been icing my knee, I took a naproxen, and I had a couple sips of red wine to boot.

It was heart-warming how quickly classmates and my sensei came to my aid when I fell. Everybody was worried I had re-injured my knee. Nothing popped, but it sure is sore.

My wife and daughter got me ice and cleared off the couch. I can see they're worried.

ACL Survives; New Haircut Needed, Though

Wednesday night, I had a really fun sparring class. I was able to move well, kick as well as punch, and my new ACL made it through its first serious challenge.

I had a great three-minute round with my buddy Larry. I was really tired from the prior exercises and just sleep deprivation during a busy work week. But I realized it was more tiring standing still and getting hit by Larry, who's quite strong, than moving around. So I moved, and I was right--it was much less tiring. We each did very well.

At one point, I was throwing a round kick, with my weight on my left, repaired leg, and Larry knocked me down. I was wearing my knee brace. My leg twisted a little, but it was fine. Hurray!

I also sparred with a younger guy who was at his first sparring class. Normally a new student would not do free sparring, but our sensei was out--he went to compete in a WCL match--we had a visiting instructor who didn't know he was new, and this young man wanted to try it out. He did very well for the first time, and I was careful and tried to be instructive. It did, however, make my middle-aged heart swell with vanity to see him stop after about two minutes of sparring because he was exhausted and needed a break.

After class was over, I went to the local Panera and picked up a soup for my daughter. I got home with it. She was happy to see me and get her soup. But then she said, "Did you go to Panera with your hair like that?"

I looked in the mirror, and yes, my hair, stiff with dried perspiration, was standing straight up, something like Bello Nock, the clown.

Well, not quite that extreme, but you get the idea.

"Yes," I told my 15-year-old daughter as she began to laugh, "I looked like a complete buffoon when I went into Panera."

A Conference With My Sensei

I spent last weekend working out of town--at a meeting with editors from around the globe for my news organization. I missed my family, it was so good to get home, though difficult to have to go right back to work. To keep up the cardio, I did do some workouts in the tiny fitness center of the inn the event was at.

Last night, I had a conference with my sensei. (As I've said, while this school no longer calls itself a karate school--and few karateka would call it that either--it has retained a lot of the form of karate.) The meeting followed a kickboxing/sparring class--one of my first involving kicking since my ACL injury and operation. I was pretty disappointed with my sparring--I was facing another brown belt, a left-hander, whom I haven't sparred with before (he used to attend another school in the same organization). I haven't sparred with too many lefties, and I know they're supposed to be difficult for righties, but I thought ... I would do better.

My sensei said I should take things a step at a time, focus on feeling comfortable with my knee, and once that happens, we can talk about training and testing for the black belt.

He said it looked like I felt comfortable with the basics in grappling, though I will need work on the more advanced moves.

Best of all, he said that my hands looked terrific in sparring. He said I could probably rely mostly on my hands and just do a few simple kicks--roundhouse kick, front push kick, and occasionally a front-leg round kick to the opponent's leg, which is mostly to see if they'll drop their hands.

I was really pleased to hear his assessment--after all, he's a Muay Thai champion. But I pointed out that I felt like I hadn't sparred well that night. After years of work, I'm still dropping my hands, for instance.

He said I have to remember that I'm coming back after a severe injury and long layoff, and that in any case, it's really hard for righties to fight lefties--they encounter them so rarely, and their punches seem to come from the wrong angles.

It was interesting to hear him suggest relying mostly on my hands. Before my injury, I was more reliant on my kicking than most people in my school, and I felt my hands were a weakness.

But in my recovery from ACL injury, I did lots of shadow boxing and bag workouts, and I studied boxing. (Photo above, from Million Dollar Baby, with the fabulous Hilary Swank, Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman. Cool movie, very tough ending though.) It's nice to hear all that work improved my hand work. I want to also keep up the defensive movement I have begun to learn in the past few months.

It was a reassuring message from my sensei.

Important Lesson

I had a great class Friday night because I learned something crucial.

It was my first sparring class since ACL surgery in which I wasn't just boxing, I was kickboxing. We only did a little kicking, we were mostly working on boxing and moving, and the kicking my partner Larry did was very gentle. But as he predicted, my knee was sore this morning.

As my sensei was watching my defense, he pointed out that I wasn't backing up by shuffling, leading with my rear foot. Instead, I was leading with my front foot--which meant I crossed my legs stepping backwards.

You don't want to cross your legs in stand-up fighting.

Suddenly I realized why I sometimes feel so awkward in retreating--and why, prior to ACL surgery, my leg once buckled when I was moving backward: I was unknowingly moving my front, left, leg and putting my weight on it.

By shuffling backwards, you are in a position to counterstrike, and you maintain your balance better.

It might seem incredible that I would be unaware of what my own legs were doing. But usually it's a very stressful moment when you have to move back, and I just didn't realize I was doing it wrong.

Today, despite being a bit tired and sore, I went to two classes--a core class (punches, kicks, movement but no contact), and then a grappling class. I was so tired after the core class that I almost didn't go to grappling, but I stayed and I was glad I did. A couple of times the front of my left knee (which is minus the middle third of my patellar tendon, and hence pretty tender still) hit the floor when I was rolling, and that wasn't fun. But I am gradually picking up the body knowledge of grappling again.

Oh, and I went without my knee brace in the core class, which is a big step. I figure the knee brace will protect me from a blow to the knee, but core class is non-contact. I'm still favoring that leg and being careful in round kicks, but I'm working on losing that self consciousness.

Knee Pain

ACL recoverees, you might not want to read this post just yet.

I'm finally starting to say to friends, "My knee will never be the same."

Thank goodness I had ACL surgery. My knee is stable now, and it wasn't before. I'm not collapsing in a heap when I put my weight on my leg, as I was before the surgery. It was worth the pain of ACL surgery and the long recovery to be able to rejoin martial arts, to not worry about things like dashing down the street or walking on a wet floor.

But I do have continued low-grade pain in my knee at times. I feel my knee in a way I never did before when I do something as simple as walking down the stairs. Just doing drills Wednesday night in martial arts class, blocking very mild low kicks with my shin, made it hurt more.

In February, I return to kicking and being kicked during sparring, and to grappling (how I tore my ACL in the first place). I wonder how those activities will feel. I'm going to take it really easy, and ask my classmates to do the same--I'm going to try to team up with Larry, who also went through ACL surgery.

I'm nervous about it.

One step at a time.

Wednesday night, my entire goal was not to re-injure my knee. On Saturday, my wife and I fly to Hawaii for our delayed 25th anniversary trip--delayed, that is, by my ACL surgery and recovery in the spring. I succeeded in my goal.

We're going to the Big Island, and one of the things we want to visit is a very rare green beach (see photo), which is, I think, due to a volcanic rock called olivine.

This is the perfect time to be going to Hawaii. I can't wait.

Hack Shaft Beats ACL; Pavlik Beats Taylor

Good news on several fronts tonight.

Paul ("Hack Shaft") is making a terrific recovering from ACL so far, it appears. He even watched his operation. Tough dude.

Meanwhile, Black Belt Mama is continuing her strong recovery from ACL surgery.

I did 26 minutes on the elliptical machine today (why 26? I was too bored for 30 minutes) and am skipping my core martial arts class tonight, to rest my arms from the private trainer's hellacious workout yesterday. I'll take a core class tomorrow.

Meanwhile, tonight at 8 PM (EST) I'm watching on HBO the tape of the Taylor-Pavlik boxing match (see image above, as Pavlik won). Pavlik took Taylor's middleweight title. It was reportedly one heck of a match--Pavlik almost got knocked out in an early round, but returned full force to knock out Taylor in the end. But I had declined to pay extra for PPV to see it. I'm glad I can see it tonight--if I can wrest control of a TV from family members.

Why should martial artists be interested in boxing, despite its many scandals, risk of injuring participants, etc.? My argument: 1) it's a martial art; 2) it requires discipline, courage and timing, just like any other martial art; 3) it requires real tactical insight and clear thinking because, unlike, say, MMA, it lasts round after round, and boxers have to adjust their game.